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jerry van den brink/colson: Harry, what a great surprise :). Welcome back in blogosphere. Welcome back on Plopor. Hope you will stay :). By the way: your first comment [...]

Harry Nizam: Hi Colson, it's good to be back on your nice blog again. I commented on your latest post but not shown.

jerry van den brink/colson: Great.Permanently? Promise? But what about http://ficklebookwhore.wordpress.com/? Anywaay, OK we'll meet again :).

atri: Hey Colson! Long time no speak :D Currently re-entering the blogging world! See you around, located (hopefully permanently) here: http://tyrannicalblankets.wordpress.com/ :D

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Utomo: Wow...I am glad to see you together again with your beloved grandson Kris !

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Crazy checks

virginity test *

It was a peculiar news item: Prabumulih high school girls will have to take virginity tests. The local administration allegedly wanted to counter promiscuous behaviour among teenagers by periodically checking on female students’ hymens. Later on officials denied these plans and claimed the news had been twisted. In their latest version some parents had asked for such a test because of their daughter reputation, since rumours had it their daughter’s hymen was in tact no more. So they said media didn’t stick to the relatively dull facts, but blew them out of context and turned them into a trending topic about prudish hypocrites in the municipality’s administration.

Well, whatever. Either parents or officials wanted hymen-inspections for teenage girls. It is, after similar incidents in previous years, another example of educators loosing their mind in the face of teenagers’ related behaviour.

Life’s reality is that by the time sweet, obedient children reach puberty, they usually change dramatically. A number of years they will be pestered by their hormones. They sometimes temporarily get lost in their quest to find their real personal identity. And physically they go through radical changes.

It’s the period of life educating parents and other official educators loose grip while the sons’ and daughters’ peers’ influence increases. From own experience I know that’s the time fathers and mothers enter a phase of huge worries.

Actually we, the parents, even underestimate the “dangers” which are looming. For instance a survey was published last week revealing teenagers’ parents nightmares often are just a weak echo of the  level of sexual activity of their darlings. They most likely are doing all the things we could only imagine other people’s teenagers would be capable of.

Since I’m a granddad, it’s not problem to me now . That’s up to parents and officials :). But we, seniors, can sympathise. And, I admit, we smirk occasionally.

To be honest we made the same mistake: trying hard to keep the little bastards in control and failing pathetically. And next had to learn by trial and error:  keep your cool, be interested, be available, provide support, stop patronizing.  And recognize that the ways, codes, values and even the language of your generation are totally different. It’s an unshakable fact. So we shouldn’t  try to reign them in  just because they practice slightly different lifestyles and morals. You’ve got to understand your son or daughter on his or her way to individual freedom and independence wants to become an different person from you. Later in their lives they may well change their mind.

Back to Prabumulih.

Essentially South Sumatra teenage girls and boys will behave like teenage girls and boys elsewhere in the world. And whether or not hymens will be tested, youth will do things their parents in their midlife crises don’t approve of. Including experimenting sex. But bye and bye teenagers will become adults with their own personality. Though only if they get the chance to rebel against the old ways.

Good educators give them enough rope to do exactly that.

By contrast checks, oversights, hymen tests included, actually are a breach of privacy, an attack on physical integrity. They breed distrust and anger. It will thwart genuine loving  relations between the generations.

Apparently some officials and parents in Prabumulih still need some education in education.

 

* Photo from here

6 comments to Crazy checks

  • This CRAZY CHECKS arises here because the eastern cultural perspective different from the west. Virginity is still considered as something important by eastern men (ego? Yes!).

  • Hey tikno, long time no see. Very glad to meet again :).

    As for the subject matter, yes there is a different perspective. Probably educators’ insecurities and worries are essentially similar in almost any culture, but the ‘socially appropriate’ solutions differ. Perhaps they (we) all should adopt the ‘best practice’ ( most effective,most human to the children)approach?

  • Wavatar dian

    “creativity” on making new project ?
    wonder if the boys should then be inspected to the so-clain “virginity”

  • @ dian: Mother of Kris, it might be interesting indeed to see what solution creepy control-freaks want in order to check boys’ virginity :).

  • well around any election time there is always some sicko entertaining this idea.. bad publicity is still a publicity, no?

  • @ triesti: I agree. Peculiar way they chose though. However if indeed parents demanded action rather than the officials themselves, that’s indicating a real educational problem, isn’t it?