It isn’t true. Men do not think of sex every 7 seconds. Science did crush that medical myth. It’s only 19 times a day . So most men give it a thought one or two times every waking hour. Not bad either.
We seem to resemble our nephews and nieces of the Bonobo species. That remote family in the trees South of the Congo river apparently does live according to the Hippie philosophy of ” make love, not war“. All day long sex, every where and mating with everyone. We, their human relatives, unfortunately do make war often. But the reflections of our close relationship with them can be seen in our sexual habits all over the world, including Indonesia. It’s self evident; we humans differ from them only a futile 1.3%.
Indonesians are no exception.
In spite of the country’s prudish image horny people from all parts of the country and even from all continents flock in the Sodoms and Gomorrahs Batam, Puncak, Surabaya and Bali to bring offerings to the Goddesses of Love. And many MP’s and ministers are Bonobo’s too.
In the relatively recent past interested people could watch videos of a PDI-P member of parliament and his secretary who were passionately not doing their regular job. And six years ago there was a videotaped close encounter of a Golkar MP and a singer. Actually a large number of Alpha men, say for instance ministers, often practice what they 19 times a day think. Whether in or out of wedlock. Strong rumours have it the excellencies of Defense, of Coordinating People’s Welfare, of Public Housing, of Transportation and the minister of Mineral Resources at one time couldn’t stand the temptation of extramarital lovemaking. All of them allegedly added a mistress ( or even several mistresses) to their marriage. Not to mention the peculiar but very pious men who redefine the boundaries of marriage and claim polygamy to be their sacred justification for creating room for their lewdness.
Most Indonesians, like the rest of the world population, love to make love. We all are Bonobo’s in the darkest crypts of our thoughts. Which – taking into account all these examples- seems also to be quite common in the unexpected libertine part of Indonesian society. Except of course when your name is Ariel and you’re not beyond the law.
Actually there is a lot of law to prohibit Bonobo behaviour for ordinary people. The moralizing segment of the population tries it’s utmost to curb their fellow citizens’ sexual enthusiasm. By law, by bylaws and social codes. I guess that part represents the 1.3% difference from our family in the Congo jungle.
These puritans want to reign in our wild and sinful Bonobo libodo. These usually pious moralists put quite an effort in squeezing passionate urges of grown up people between the strict boundaries of abstinence and exclusive intra-marital procreation. This year the President on top of the anti-pronography law even launched a special anti-pornography task force. The comical twist is that it’s Agung Laksono who is in charge to keep men and women focussed. Yes, right, Agung is a remarkable choice indeed. He is the very minister coordinating people’s welfare who according to persistent gossip has been himself enjoying the extra marital attention of Sovie Djasmin 
.
No doubt moralists strongly condemn our inner Bonobo. MUI Padang’s head Duski Samad for instance. I think he and the Padang Legislative Council (DPRD) recently discovered a substantial overdose of sins of the flesh in the region. I guess they mistakenly take Mingkabau-Bonobos for a sly Western immorality invasion. They fear adultery and prostitution in the region will soon pass all bounds. Though no figures have presented to substantiate their fears, there was this irresistible reflex of disgust. Accordingly they immediately took tough action. In their opinion a strong firewall is of utmost importance and should be installed right away. So a bylaw has been announced which will authorize Satpol to arrest, sanction and rehabilitate adulterers and other perpetrators violating public decency.
Sinners beware. Fornicating MPs and ministers in Jakarta avoid Padang. Indonesians get rid of your inner Bonobos. Victory is starting from West Sumatra’s capital.
A very interesting article, two thumbs up for you, Colson.
The problem in Indonesia is that many of those so-called “Moralists” are actually “Moralists wanna be”, they adopt double standard : forbidden for others, but okay for them.
For example: Dangdut Musician Rhoma Irama loved to condemn female singers, until one night news reporters caught sneaking around on an apartment of female artist who is less than half his age.
A problem is that the form has displaced the substance. I recall an incident when I was single. I brought home a woman to my apartment and nature took its course. At about 3am she said she had to leave. I ask why. She said she could not afford people knowing that she had not slept at her family home. So long as this hypocrisy remains rampant in this society, things will not change.
@ Harry; Thank you
. There is this Freudian (??) hypothesis which assumes radicals primarily fight the urge, in casu the libido, they feel and fear in themselves indeed. It often turns out to be like you wrote “forbidden for others, but okay for them”.
@ Mauricio: You’re right, appearances often play a major role in the archipelago. A comedy series like ‘Keeping up appearances” could – with some substantial adaptations- be a major hit in RI. Indonesia ( and Europe for that matter) could do with a lot less hypocrisy indeed. Yet I’m afraid the phenomenon will resist all efforts to eradicate it because it’s as much in our genes as much as our libido is.
I can tell you it’s not in my genes. I could give a rat’s ass whether the neighbor’s daughter comes home at 3AM or does not come home at all. All I care about is that the neighbor maintain a minimum level of public civility like taking care of his rubbish, parking according to regulations, not creating distubances. What he or his daughter does is, frankly, none of my business. Unlike many others, I actually have more important things to think and worry about that my neighbor’s daughter’s sexual habits.
I can tell you it’s not in my genes. I could give a rat’s ass whether the neighbor’s daughter comes home at 3AM or does not come home at all. All I care about is that the neighbor maintain a minimum level of public civility like taking care of his rubbish, parking according to regulations, not creating distubances. What he or his daughter does is, frankly, none of my business. Unlike many others, I actually have more important things to think and worry about that my neighbor’s daughter’s sexual habits.
Can I come live in the Netherlands? It sounds like my kind of place really. Plus those Friesland babes are to die for!
@ Mauricio: I won’t argue with that. So, it’s not in your genes.Then it’s not in my genes either – I have similar feelings towards my neighbours ( and can’t complain because they are almost perfect). Yet I’ve to confess that in daily life I have to fight judging people by my very personal standards. And being middle class, judging them by my ( western) middle class standards actually. It’s pretty tough to escape that imprint.
As for emigrating to The Netherlands I ought to warn you for some nasty xenophobia, but as for me: always welcome. Frisian babes? Glorious blondes you mean? Like the gorgeous Swedish girls? Well, actually blonde is gradually loosing out against black. Though, what the heck, you still can meet ladies like Ranomi (http://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ranomi_Kromowidjojo)…?
Nah, never been a big fan of the “Indo” look on females. Neither fish nor foul, neither bitter ballen nor nasi uduk, for my tastes.
@ Mauricio: There is no account for tastes. Though I wouldn’t ( and didn’t actually) refuse any offer by the best of two worlds
.
PS: Ranomi has a Surinam father ( of Javanese descent) and Dutch mother. So I guess it’s a mix of roti and bitterballen.
My wife lived in Suriname. She said the really striking girls where the ones with the Javanese/African mix. Chocolate dolls with high cheek bones, mata kucing and super big bokong…