Life’s Unpractical Lessons.

by Colson on Nov. 7, 2008, under ramblings

queue1. How to jump the queue.

If one expects to have to stand seriously in line before you actually can get to the event, be sure to have a wheelchair and some company.  Wheelchairs have priority at the entrance and can claim the best places. So, put your partner in crime in the chair and push him/her past the suckers who are obediently waiting and enter triumphantly.

(Witnessed it several times- because I am such a sucker – while  queuing myself).

meeting

2. How the chair can regain control.

If the chair is in a tumultuous meeting, which is dramatically getting out of hand, he or she should know there always is this way to regain control. Don’t try to intervene, keep silent and let the chaos prevail for another five minutes. Then get up slowly, turn your back on the table and fart. Loudly.

(I happened to be present when this method was successfully applied by a renowned mayor of a large  city).

lat

3. How to stay happy.

If one has met the love of one’s life, usually it results in mutual bonding. But only to discover in due time that the loved one also creates irritation, stress and conflict. So why not choose the best of two worlds to stay happy: marry and stay single at the same time by choosing a LAT (living apart together, that is: both partners keep their own house/home) relationship.

( I did meet a number of contented people who did give it a try).

Wavatar Diny
Nov. 7, 2008

LOL @ advice no. 1 –seen it a lot of time too. One more thing, the chair could also give a sweet spot on the parking lot, very close to the entrance.

Wavatar yuki tobing
Nov. 7, 2008

love this one, add one for now.

4. how to avoid standing in train/bus?
if you already get a sit and see old people looking for sit, pretending to be asleep. (note: I don’t practice this myself :lol: )

Wavatar michaeljubel
Nov. 8, 2008

seen number one recently on TV series. hahaha. fun. anyway, does number 3 really work?

@yuki: yeahhhh righttt. hahahaha.

Wavatar yoanitya
Nov. 9, 2008

LAT? GREAT IDEA! enough said.

Wavatar colson
Nov. 9, 2008

@ yoanita: Yes, isn’t it?!

@ michaeljubel: It does. Sometimes.

@ yuki tobing: Seems to be sneaky and cunning but effective to me.

@ diny: I’ll gratefully add the parking lot idea to my repertoire.

Wavatar yoanitya
Nov. 9, 2008

wait,, I think my parents are living a LAT marriage.
They always make us see it as “dady’s working on jobsite, momy’s stuck with us in the city”.
but they’re still together after 31 years so yeah I take LAT works.

Wavatar Devi Girsang
Nov. 9, 2008

I’ve never seen case #1 in Jakarta by myself, only experienced someone had tried to cut the line several times innocently. Sometimes I yelled at him/her, and some other time I was too tired to start a fight, I went away LOL. Great idea though!

Wavatar Lorraine
Nov. 9, 2008

Colson,

Now you’ve made curious, who was the mayor from nr. 2?

Wavatar colson
Nov. 10, 2008

@ yoanitya: See? I rest my case.

@ devi girsang: Jumping the queue only succeeds if the rascals have an imaginative mind, are able to improvise and have a talent for acting.

@ lorraine: Even though it is history ( 1973!) and the man has died, I’d rather not reveal his identity. Not on internet anyhow.

Wavatar santi d
Nov. 10, 2008

Hahah no.3 is not a bad idea … husband and wife should become next door neighbours, and see each other on occasions only.

Wavatar sakuralady
Nov. 12, 2008

The 3rd lesson made my laugh blasted.
Somehow, I think it can be true..
There’s trend in Japan now for the pension couple while they live in the same house but separatedly in practice: the wife stays on the 1st fl, the husband on the other fl, they don’t sleep together and have their own activities.. isn’t it cute? Is it also considered the way to stay happy? ;)

Wavatar colson
Nov. 12, 2008

@ santi d: It all depends on what kind of occasions of course…

@ sakuralady: There is a difference though; LAT is meant to be preventive and can keep the fire burning, the Japanese solution is after the event when the fire has been extinguished obviously. But I guess both may be sensible.