Jakarta. Some time ago there was an old woman selling fruit in a flat in Jakarta. She mostly sold her fruit in the evening, when people came home from work. She didn’t have her own stall, so she displayed her fruit below the stairs. Every day of the week, every month, the whole year round. The best were her markisa. It’s funny how a sweet taste can bring back memories. But more impressing then her markisa, was the persistence to make a living. And that at her age. Two years ago, during holidays, she was still there. A little older but still selling her fruit. This time fatigue has gotten the better of her for the moment. She was sleeping. But people who wanted to buy fruit took what they wanted and lay the money beside her.
Bukittinggi. Another time, another place. Next door the sewing machines are operating vigorously. It’s way before 7 o’clock in the morning, and work already has commenced. In the embroidery around 25 sewing machines are lined like an old fashioned school. And the women operating them come from villages far away to work here. Only on occasions going back to their hometowns. And so they work from the early hours in the morning to late in the evening. And all the time keep on chatting, gossiping and just working.
You come home late, you don’t feel like cooking. What do you do? Just call out of the window, 7 stories high, and a guy will cook you a simply delicious meal. And it will be brought to you. Or you’ll meet up with some friend in some new trendy place, and eat yet an other delicious meal. This time with good company. How often do you do this? Almost every day of the week.
Meeting people seems to be what Indonesia seems all about. I’ll have to go to a wedding. Wanna join? I’m going to meet with some friends. Wanna join? I’m gonna get me some Indomie at the ruko around the corner. See you in an hour. You just arrived in town. Wanna meet my family?
One of the things behind all this, as far as I can see, is that people feel a natural urge to include other people.
The point of all this? I was rather impressed with what I saw and learned. Not that in Indonesia people also work hard. But that people appear to work hard, long hours and not complain about it. Where I come from, everything you don’t like is a topic for lunch. You don’t feel like cooking? Tough luck. Meeting people? No problem, but not as easy (going) as in Indonesia.
Nostalgia, Pelopor? Reviving the real romantic days of courtship? Looking for a reason to make a sentimental journey once more. Dreaming up an Utopia which will make you definitely say goodbye to the damp Delta at the sea? Fed up and sick of the looks of Harry Potter Balkenende and longing for SBY? Saturated by Douwes Dekker and longing for Tamrin?
However I have to admit: it’s a telling and beautiful account. Yet, with the same ingredients it could be told quite differently – yes, I’m a sad old cynic sometimes.
hehehe that’s definitely the difference between generations ? of looking at the same thing and have different impressions ? :p
Great post!
This is definitely & absolutely what I missed the most about the homeland. The people’s natural urge to always be together. That being alone is almost always unacceptable. Thus the Javanese saying: Mangan ora mangan sing penting ngumpul (losely translated: Doesn’t matter if you have nothing to eat, the most important thing is if you’re together) and the expression: sepiring berdua (losely translated: to eat in one plate together).
Please excuse my rudeness in writing about the coldness and hardness of living in Holland, while most people think it’s a convenience that I have not been grateful about. I love Holland and will definitely miss a lot of things of it. But I must say that I can’t wait to come home. I can’t wait to work hard and not complain, something that a lot of my colleagues in Fortis find as craziness! hahah!
With all due respect, Pelopor, would you like to see complains? It isn’t seen here in the blogosphere, where you can easily find ideallistic scholars or professional journalists. They have the responsibility to NOT complain.
If you’d like to see complains, well,.. you’re just gonna have to live in them and feel them for real.
Anyways, *including others* is exactly typical Indonesian ways of doing politics. Together. In groups. To conform. To adapt. To acknowledge one’s social hierarchy.
We follow the average, the mediocre state, then we form a large circle, afterwards we march (only) in groups. Indonesians’ are too insecure to believe they can survive alone, hence, prepare to level down at anytime possible. Not only because it’s natural, but because it’s normal to do so.
Unfortunately, I blog because I intended to leave my normal path. By writing the way I write, believe it or not I’ve refused to follow the common standards in my own society. There’s a social karma in that, people are now having a hard time to connect with me in personal levels. An extremely lousy dating life, as an example.
But it’s true what you’ve said, it’s a natural urge to include other people, as much as it’s a natural urge to fear loneliness.
@bonnie: you should know by now: I’m young at heart, I live fast, I’ll die young and I’ll have a good looking corpse. Don’t you agree?
@sushihunt: you’ve solved our national problem – government officials and scientists are desperately looking for our national identity and there it is: complaining. You’re right: it IS our national habit. (And I love it: Theo Maassen, Hans Teeuwen, Freek de Jonge, Youp van ‘t Hek and our family favourite: André Manuel)
@Marisa: Keep your course: always stand out in the crowd. If they don’t like it, they are not worth it. Excellence requires an independent mind.
@Marisa: I’m not really looking for complaints. It seems to be a very European, or at least Dutch, thing to do. Actually, my time in Indonesia was bliss. And although I think you’re right in saying that “including others” has it’s drawbacks, especially in politics, it also makes a complex society a little bit more easy to be in.
Despite this general Indonesian tendency to conform, I have noticed in recent years a whole new generation is growing up who seem to be very indivualistic and at the same time very sociable. If my observations are right, and this trend will continue, the future for Indonesia is very bright indeed.
@colson: live fast….hemm not really see that happening hehehe die young…guess you already miss that part….beautiful corpse…well definitely prefer you alive and kicking!!!! :p
@ sushihunt: well i do hope that you can combine both long hour and the ability to complain (which you learn here
) when you’re moved to a new city… I hear the people there have that urge of working long hours and complaining! 
As matter a fact I never had a problem with being alone or follow the urge of being together. I found it is soothing to be around lots of people and socializing when you do have that urge! It is healthy as a human being to be around another human beings (well always depends on who is the other human being)
i smiled reading this posting. very telling and very true. yes, one of some sweet stories of my home country is the easiness of just going out and meeting people. everybody seems to be very easy going. everybody is and should be an extremely social creature.
it’s great and it’s not.
the irony is that it’s so difficult to have your own time and space there in indonesia. and it’s difficult to be different too. because everybody should be people person. and if you’re not people person then there’s something wrong with you. we need to say, act, and even be what are acceptable for ‘the many’.
i remember i was taught in school that we have to put the interests of the many on the top of individual’s interest. that’s a good value but it’s sort of taken for granted. the individual is most of time being buried in the name of ‘collectiveness’, ‘togetherness’ , ‘unity’. in fact, this tendency is reflected in so many dimensions of life, including important ones such as political inclination and religion. even the nation-state asked you to be less than a complete individual. collective identity is more important that your identity. such personal things — individual business — such as sex and religion are seen as collective interests thus should be ruled by the nation-state…
i love the collective culture of indonesia…. but i also demand that the individual as an entity is fully recognized in the structure of society and nation state.
I’m with mer!
Sometimes I think a “feel good” society could be described as one in which you are always included – in a family, in a group friends, in a crowd. The flip side of course is that you have to stand a lot of social control and pressure to conform.
So most of the time I prefer the society I live in – not very warm, but with relatively much space for individuality. But then the drawback is you tend to be kept at a distance by others on moments you care for company.
Because I’m afraid you can not have it both ways I will gladly visit Indonesia ( especially if they turn the heater down), but will always return home to go on complaining about everything (I’m Dutch, you know).
Totally agree with Mer. Coming from a mixed javanese-maluku family, you can’t get past the notion of collectivity-life (thank God my parents are a bit out of ordinary so both Widodo’s daughters grew up to be non-conformist hehehe).
@Marisa: whoa…never thought that you are groupless
since you seems to have loads of people actually commenting on your thoughts. Hem…looking at your blog, the ranting above and Lily’s comment plus reading your blog in Lily’s comment (thank God..I thought both of you were having fight hehehe) I think you should see this silence treatment bit different way. (well not try to change your mind though)..why should you set your happiness on how many comments as to measure others acknowledgment of your writing. I can imagine having comments must be great as you can see whether what you write is kicking some nerve or not..but isn’t it more important to actually have comments that challenge you to see beyond what you write, to have comments that actually make you think from different perspective. And it won’t matter when there’s no one commented as long as your idea is out there and perhaps triggers other people creativity to do something … 
@ lily: I know: Indonesian cuisine is spicy. And that’s the way I love it. Albeit, within limits. I don’t mind tears in my eyes and a dripping. But what I really object to is a diarrhea next day.
Do you have, by the way, any connection with this tasty site called makanmula.com? If so, it may explain why this delicious hot dish is on our menu now. If not, we owe it to providence and two power girls only.
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